Among the Dogon people of West Africa, there is a concept referred to as nommo. While the construct is far more complex than I will discuss right now, one of the chief ideas behind the concept is that words have power.
Believing that words matter is not a unique principle. In fact, most spiritual traditions have an understanding that creation and destruction can both be levied by a powerful utterer. Even science tells us that words create vibrations that physically touch (and move) parts of our bodies (as well as those of others).
So if we know all of that, why do we often speak the very worst things......to ourselves???
While we may be consciously aware (and defensive) of the negativity spoken against us by others, we must be equally as aware (and defensive) of the negativity we often bring to ourselves because of the words we speak against ourselves and our experiences.
Next time that you're tempted to allow the small voice in your head to begin a tirade against you, face it head on. Ask it where it came from. Ask it who it belongs to. Ask it why it seeks to hurt you.
Here's what I've learned: the negativity that we hear in our internal worlds often originates outside of us. If someone (or enough someones) has called us ugly, we may have internalized someone else's perception of us as our own. And, every time we allow their voice to speak against us (using our own tongue!), we are reinforcing THEIR opinion of us and not our own.
In this way, they get to make our reality instead of us as ourselves.
Is that what you really want?
You are far better than the worst things you say to yourself. Ya hear?