The Power of Self-Definition
During the last Holistic Success Training (if you missed it here it is), we talked about Maafa being a season where others controlled us by defining things for us, rather than us defining things for ourselves.
According to psychologist Wade Nobles, "power" is the ability to define reality and have others operate as if that definition is their own.
As long as someone else is defining your purpose, your definitions of success, and ideas about empowerment they are most likely doing so in a way that directly benefits them and not necessarily you. And, I'm willing to bet that if you take the time to define these things for yourself rather than allowing others to, you'll end up pursuing a more complete notion of your own potential for success.
The truth is that not all of us want the same things in the same ways. Our definitions of love, companionship, peace, are all likely different in nuanced ways. For example, I know some folks who find peace on a gun range and others that find it in a temple. Neither group has to live according to the others' standards. If they did, I don't think they'd find much peace at all.
Recently, I had my definitions of love challenged. Rather than assert to those around me that their definitions were false, I've spent much more time interrogating my own emotions, history, and pleasures to create my own.
I can't say the process was easy and I also can't pretend that I am not looking forward to critiques from others that "just don't get it." But, I am sure that being clear about what I want is much more likely to guide me to my notions of a successful relationship than someone else's.
I challenge you to do the same. In what ever area of your life feels most incomplete, reflect on what feelings you have and let them guide you to a new definition for it. Then, with the new definition clearly considered, book me for a clarity call and let's work on a strategic plan to ensure you can obtain it.